No One to Turn to
by tehMimo
Summary: Rei has killed himself because of something that made him feel pain all the time... Mariah cries for help when there is no one to turn to, she sacrifices her own life... Warning: Sappy, Death, a tiny bit of blood. R


Mimi: Yet another Rei/Mariah ficcy. And I guess it is pretty dark. I got the idea from 'Red' if you read it. Yes I'm trying to make it sad.  
  
Disclaimer: I'm not reading this... I'm not reading something everyone already knows!  
  
Rei's POV  
  
**********************************************************  
  
I loved you Mariah. How could you break my heart? I knew there was something wrong. You made a mistake... now it's a big mess. And I don't think you understand. I can't lie to myself about the fact that I still love you. I'll always love you, but I can't take the pain you're bringing me. Please tell me you feel the same. I love you Mariah...  
  
Mariah... please don't stare at me like that... I didn't do anything. My heart is still in the same place, but you... your heart disagrees... Tell me that you still love me... and please let it be true.  
  
My life is nothing without you. From the time I realized that you were in my heart, I knew we were meant to be. Well, at least I thought we were. But what you did will change that forever. I can't just forget it like it was something little. You broke my heart. And along with Kai too. Why didn't you realize what you were doing???  
  
I remember... The scent of Kai's smell in your room. He always wears this weird smell around him. So I thought, how could it be in your room? I remember thinking it was just a mistake, but a tigers nose is never wrong. I saw you walk outside, and you were talking to Kai. I don't know why you talked to him... it just seemed strange. That's when I noticed that he was leaning over and kissing you! But that wasn't the part that hurt... the part that hurt the most was when I saw you return the kiss. It was those kind of passionate kisses, that could never be broken. I trusted you...  
  
You two didn't know I was there. You didn't need to know. You were happy the way you were then. I don't know what happened between us but I'm sorry if I hadn't treat you the way you should be treated. You're everything. You're the first snow flake of winter, you're the first leaf that falls in Autumn, you're the first flower that blooms in Spring... and you're the freedom in summer.  
  
I remember every single word...  
  
"Mariah! How could you?" I glared at you, I never did that before. I had caught them together. How long as this been going on? My mind screamed for answers... but you gave no answers to me, you didn't even ask how I found out. You just think this was nothing? I loved you with all my heart, and I can't imagine how that could have happened. Did I treat you the way you deserve to be treated? I'm sorry... I don't understand... My heart is full of hatred but... my love for you is still there. Somehow, I know that no matter what happened between us... my love for you is always going to be there. For you, for me, for us.  
  
Kai just stared at me. I guess he thought it was nothing too. Why is this just a big deal to me?! And those words you said... you just made it worst!  
  
"Come on Rei... I would never betray you..." Those words keep repeating in my mind! I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did. And I didn't have the nerve to even apologize!!!  
  
I slapped you! I hit you! I saw you fall to the floor. Kai glared at me, and his temper went bizarre. I never saw him so mad in his life. He pushed me to the ground and if it hadn't been for you to stop him, I would've been killed. I was pretty unconscious but I heard these words.  
  
"Come on Kai, leave him alone. Let's go..."  
  
End of Rei's POV  
  
Rei finished the letter. And sealed it in an envelope that read, Mariah. Rei's heart stopped for a minute as he stared at the moon outside. This was it. It was the moment of truth, the moment he would die.  
  
Rei took out a knife, and drew it to his wrist. The blade was cold as snow, 'I won't regret anything.' Of course he wasn't sure, but the pain was just unbearable, the pain that ached in his heart was more painful than any other treat possible. 'I love you Mariah... no matter what you think, I'll never change my feelings about you...'  
  
Suddenly, Kai appeared, he was up at 2:00am??? 'But why...?' "So trying to kill yourself eh?" Rei refused to look at him. It seemed impossible. "I know what you're thinking, Mariah has and I are nothing..." Kai said in his normal cold voice.  
  
"But I saw----" Rei trying to say, but he just couldn't pop the word. "I was just---"  
  
"I DON'T CARE!" Rei screamed and pressed the blade, not through his wrist, but to his arm! And he fell to the floor after hitting his head.  
  
Kai stared in frustration! 'Rei! How foolish can you get?!?!?!?!' and dragged him inside but not before telling Mariah.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
"Is he going to be okay?" Mariah asked, fresh tears pouring out after the first hour of crying. 'Oh Rei! Why? I should have explained! I didn't know I meant this much to you!'  
  
That was the first thought she had when reading the letter he wrote. She had found it while trying to get bandages from Rei's room.  
  
The doctor finally came out and said, "I'm very sorry... but he's gone..."  
  
Those words hit Mariah like nothing could. Not even a gun could break that sinking feeling in the depths of her heart. Mariah started to run. She didn't care where she was running to, she didn't care if the world was raining on her. The rain soaked her to the bones, but not deep enough to drown the feeling that she had for Rei.  
  
'Please Rei... I need you...' Then that's when she saw it. The knife, it was covered in Rei's blood, but it was the only thing that could cure her, right here, right now. 'Oh Rei... There is nothing I can do...' So then, she grabbed the cold knife... though it was still dripping in Rei's blood. But then a sweet, kind, gentle voice came, 'Please Mariah... Don't...' It could only be Rei...  
  
***************************************  
  
"Mariah, are you going to be okay with this?" Tyson questioned as he stared at Mariah at Rei's funeral.  
  
Everyone was dressed in black and Mariah was even wearing those black things that widows wear. ((I have no idea what it's called though))  
  
"........... I'll be fine......." Mariah finally answered, still sobbing little bits of tear. That little voice in the air gave her hope. But not enough hope to go through the month...  
  
******************  
  
As the days went, then came weeks, Mariah started to get weak. At week two she stopped eating... and the days were getting cold. Everyone was worried about her. The bags under the eyes told them that she had not been sleeping well either.  
  
Mariah cried. She had lied to everyone, she told them all that she was going to be fine in a few days. It's been a month, all she's been doing was crying and trying to hurt herself. Then she remembered as well.  
  
Kai had just asked to speak with her. "Why did you choose me to talk to?"  
  
"I couldn't find anyone that could understand."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"My 'love' has died..." Kai said as he swallowed hard.  
  
"You had a girlfriend????" Mariah asked in complete shock. She didn't know boys like Kai could be in love at all!  
  
"No.. I just loved her..."  
  
"That must have been hard... but why did you have to tell me?"  
  
"I thought you'd make me feel better..."  
  
"What do you---?" but stopped as Kai kissed her. She didn't know why she kissed back, maybe to comfort Kai... but in her heart, there was only Rei.  
  
Mariah's eyes filed with tears again... That was why Rei was so angry. It was her fault but she only tried to comfort another.  
  
Mariah couldn't take it anymore! She couldn't take it anymore! She couldn't live with the pain! The impossible pain was following her! 'I'm sorry Rei...' She was going to disobey Rei's plead. But at least... the pain will go away.  
  
She slowly crawled to the drawer. She was too weak to even stand up. Mariah had kept this for weeks now, and it was still fresh. Of course it was the knife but she had wiped the blood off.  
  
"Oh Rei... I'm so very sorry..." And with that last sentence, or whisper, she took the knife and cut herself through her wrist until she lost consciousness and fainted dead on the floor. The blood looked like pain, but to Mariah, it was the only thing to escape her pain. To her, it was the only solution.  
  
At least now, they were together. And no one could separate them, not even the wind and gods. No one could separate them.  
  
********************************************  
  
No this did not make me cry. But I doubt it made anyone cry. I guess it just wasn't sad enough. But please review! And sorry about the death stuff. My first death ficcy, but I don't think it'll be my last! 


End file.
